Supporting Mothers
“It is the best of times…”
Those delicious baby cuddles…
That beaming smile after they take their first wobbly step…
“I love you, mama.”
The joy and pride you feel when they score their first goal, bring home an A on a test, or graduate from high school…
“… and the worst of times.”
After being awakened for the THOUSANDTH time by a screaming baby, you wonder if you’ve ever going to sleep again.
Your defiant four-year-old flings a wooden block in your direction and screams, “You are a BAD MAMA!”
The rage and WORRY you feel when you hear about a bully tormenting your child at school.
The silence… the eye-rolling… the death stares from your teenager…
And then the emptiness when it’s finally time for them to go: “Who am I now??”
And there’s never any TIME!
Motherhood is a rollercoaster, and no one prepares you for this shit (figuratively AND literally)!
Research shows that being a mom is equivalent to having 2.5 full-time jobs, and then you actually HAVE a full-time job on top of it all.
It’s no wonder you’re left feeling exhausted, guilty, irritable, impatient, and not good enough.
And somehow, on top of EVERYTHING ELSE, you’re also supposed to have a clean house, keep your relationship alive, cook healthy meals, get in the 10,000 steps, provide enriching experiences, pay the bills, meditate…
Oh, and make sure they’re not getting too much screen time!
Your own needs are at the bottom of life’s to-do list…
Isn’t that what moms are supposed to do??
You can’t help but feel resentful… and then guilty for the resentment.
My god, it’s exhausting, and if you don’t do it all, or if you (*gasp*) take a break, you can FEEL the judgment. It might not be stated explicitly, but it’s there. It’s REAL, and it’s crippling… and it’s something that parents of the male gender rarely encounter.
You are allowed to have needs, you know?
Who is this “you,” of which you speak?
After the parenting, cleaning, working, planning, transporting, etc., etc., you have forgotten who that is. Your identity is so tied to “mom” that there has been no space for a “you.”
I know… the idea of spending time and money on therapy for you (not your child) seems foreign and revolutionary. But it’s time, once and for all, to smash the harmful (and oppressive) narrative that we need to sacrifice all of ourselves.
It is time to create that space.
Space. What does that look like?
That depends on you and your own unique needs. And our ultimate job together is to identify what those are.
At first, it may be that you need a place to come to have someone actually listen to you, where you don’t have to worry about other people’s needs, and you won’t feel judged for expressing your needs.
You might need an objective sounding board (and one that has a significant background in child psychology) to help figure out more effective parenting strategies that feel sustainable for you.
And slowly, we will start to work through the stress, guilt, and self-doubt to uncover what makes you come alive.
You can be a good mom while also prioritizing YOU.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
You have to put on your oxygen mask first.
Psychologist Carl Jung stated, “The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”
Imagine the example we can set for our children if we show them what it is to uncover our authentic Self – to live with more joy, creativity, and SPACE. Let’s work together to sift through the judgment, guilt, pressure, and fear so that the real you can shine.
It’s time to start being the person and mom you want to be!
Reach out today for a free 15-minute consultation. Let’s talk about how I can help: agarrattcounseling@gmail.com.